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Archive for the ‘Creative Complaining’ Category

So I thought I would post this now, even though I am somewhat disappointed in how it turned out. I think I will soon be sending it off to the company in question (which there is really no need to name, since the general principle applies to many companies of the sort). Likely, I’ll need to include some sort of introduction/explanation, but this is the poem itself:

Juice Boxes (or some other creative title)

A juice box does what you might think,
By holding juice for kids to drink.

The sweetest nectar sipped through straws
Elicits smiles and “Hip-Hurrahs!”

They cheer for peach. They shout for punch.
They slurp it up at every lunch.

Their love of juice is undisguised,
But do they know it’s synthesized?

“But kids won’t drink a natural brew!”
You argue, and perhaps it’s true.

Yes, I concede they may detect
A change in the ingredients…

If flavouring was altered, they
Might cease to shout: “Hip, hip, hurray!”

But, may I ask you, would they pout,
If colouring was taken out?

How could they see a juice deprived
Of favourite yellow number five?

Did you forget the nature of
The juice box we all know and love?

It’s full of flavour, no mistake,
But it’s opaque, for goodness’ sake!

And children, last I checked, do not
Have see-through stomachs…what a thought!

So why add artificial green
To something that is never seen?

And why use number forty red
When nothing could be used instead?

I thank you for considering
My well-intentioned wondering.

I hope you’ll find my humble words,
Though rhyming and at times absurd,

Are clear and simple to deduce…
And here’s to boxes filled with juice!

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Reflecting on my dissatisfaction with the decisions made by certain big companies, I have decided to pursue a creative way to send in my complaints. This decision was mostly influenced by my loving husband, who tells me this is a sure-fire way to get free t-shirts and other swag. However, writing simple letters/e-mails may not do the trick, as I’m sure larger companies get several communications of this sort every day. So I thought I might try sending in my complaints in rediculous poem form.

I thought of this approach yesterday while sipping on a juice box and reading the ingredient list, as I am wont to do every time I consume something with a label. I understand that putting artifical flavours and colours in juice is often done. What I don’t understand is why the colouring process is necessary for a drink which lives in an opaque box until it is put inside the consumer’s mouth, also opaque. Seriously. How will I know if the juice isn’t pretty? I might notice if I spill it, but nobody cares for spilt juice, even if it is an unusually nice shade. My husband argued you can see the colour in the straw, but really? We’re willing to consume a potentially harmful chemical so that we can have a nicely coloured straw while sipping? No thanks.

Anyways…I have started a poem about this specific issue, and hoped to get it finished tonight, but I’m not satisfied with it yet, so hopefully I will be posting that soon. Stay tuned. I’ll also keep the blog updated with any replies I get from various companies, if said replies are suitably hilarious.

Until then, go drink some naturally flavoured/coloured juice in a spirit of rebellion! That’s all for now.

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