Archive for June, 2012

Happy (belated) Father’s Day to all the great fathers and grandfathers in our family, including the newest member, the father of my own dearest little girl. 🙂  Some of you have more (and worse) jokes than others 🙂 …some of you are no longer here to make us smile in person…but you’re all very very loved.


Dad Jokes

You can’t pick your dad, but you can pick your friends,
But you can’t pick their noses, as the Dad oft contends.
You can scratch your head wondering why he’s so strange…
“Einstein’s theory of relatives,” the Dad oft explains.

You can roll your eyes, sighing, as you wait to dig in,
And the Dad’s “Let us spray!” sets him giggling again.
You can hope that your pancakes are safe from his wit…
No such luck – “maple syrple” sets him off in a fit.

You can raise your arms high, but you’d better be sure…
You can count on the powers of the liniment cure.
You can watch all the birdies you want in the sky,
But watch out for the cows if they learn how to fly.

You can know all the words to the song of the night,
But you can’t know just when your own name might sound right.
You can think that the lyrics don’t quite make a rhyme…
But the Dad will insist that they’re “fine, fine, fine, fine!”

You can start with a “hey”, but you’ll end with a “straw”.
With the help of a hammer, you can say that you “saw”.
You can ask to see cards, but instead get a wave.
You can ask “How’s the water?” if you feel extra brave.

You can learn to speak French, though not quite this obscure:
“Silver plate”, “mercy buckets”… and of course, “poops du jour!”
You can learn of computers…the “Interweb” too…
But you’ll still ask for help when the screen turns to blue.

You can go hug a bear, but it still won’t compete,
With the guy wearing sandals and socks on his feet.
He is Daddy, the Dad Guy, and old Father Dearest.
He is Grandpa (or Grumpa?), and to me, it is clearest:

If you could pick your dad, like he picks out a joke,
Like he’ll pick up your spirits when your heart’s feeling broke.
Then, despite all the jesting, I hope each Dad knows:
That we’d pick you for sure! (But we won’t pick your nose.)

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